A student emailed me that she would be late turning in her work this week because her father-in-law died. I sent my ’standard’ reply something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry for your loss as I know how difficult it is losing someone you care about’ and then explained that I would allow her to make-up her work and gave her the time schedule for submission. I have a pretty strict ‘no make-up’ policy for timed quizzes but I always give students one ‘free pass’ per semester regardless of the reason. The student responded with a thank-you email saying she was really upset about her grandfather passing and she was glad it wouldn’t affect her grade. Now, I know it is east TN and technically her father-in-law could be her grandfather but I think she just got mixed up on her story which amuses me. It is a good thing that I have a sense of humor about such things; if it were my first year teaching or even worse I was a fanatical graduate student I might take some sort of offense at the probable lie but by now I’m pretty used to it. I always, always respond with words of condolence because sometimes the story is true and I’d much rather err on the side of humanity in my response. Still, I think I might start posting a warning to the grandparents and other random family members of my students that enrollment in my course (especially in the summer where it is condensed to 10 weeks) is hazardous to their health.
June 26, 2008...8:52 am
the hazards of summer school
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7 Comments
June 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I can’t stand it when people use deaths as an excuse. I’ve made up some stories, but never death ones. How bad would I feel if that person really did die? I know it sounds crazy paranoid, but its just not something I’ve ever felt okay taking lightly just to get out of an assignment.
June 27, 2008 at 7:28 am
Brilliant story – and aren’t today’s students unimaginative? When I was at college and needed a ‘get out of work free’ pass I had much better ideas!!
Using someone’s death as an excuse to pass in work late is simply lazy also; you didn’t die, they did! And a father-in-law? Really, sorry to ask, but how sad can that make you? Are you burying him yourself, without tools??!
This is yet another example of the refusal to take personal responsibility for one’s actions. F!
June 27, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I much preferred the student who emailed me that his work was late because he went to Bonnaroo (huge music festival). And it is usually a ‘one generation’ removed fake death. No one emails that their mother (or brother or spouse) just died and they would be turning in work late or if they do I usually were told they were ill beforehand or the student somehow communicates it differently so it seems legit.
June 27, 2008 at 2:25 pm
It is nice that you err on the side of compassion. I did have a very young aunt die from cancer at the beginning of a semester & my professor was quite heartless about it. The last thing a person needs when they are grieving is to be treated like a con artist.
June 27, 2008 at 2:42 pm
When I was an undergrad, I had a friend whose grandfather died to whom she was very, very close (he lived with them when she was growing up) and I thought her profs were horrible to her so that is always in the back of my mind. And also just the age of most of my students and their maturity level I think about (some may never have known a person to die so even if they aren’t close it is a new freaky experience).
And I don’t want to have to be a private detective in regards to excuses which is why I have the ‘one free pass’ policy. After that, I do require some sort of documentation.
June 30, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I have a one-free pass policy, too. Although I’m with you on wanting to email/call once removed family members of the students in my class and warn them that they may croak sooner rather than later. Wonder if it would be taken in the spirit it was intended…
July 3, 2008 at 8:50 am
[...] blogger and teacher MamaTried is a lot nicer about this than many educators might be: A student emailed me that she would be late turning in her work this week because her [...]